drunk on the D, wasted on the W?

You know what I think would be a fantastic idea? If the MTA were to begin serving alcoholic beverages (and all types of beverages, really--and snacks, while we're at it) on subway platforms (AND cars!), a la MetroNorth and LIRR style. I mean, really. Instead of raising fares, wouldn't this be a smart strategy to generate some dough to fill that pesky "deficit" the MTA is always complaining about?

Yes, obviously there are already several independent snack/magazine vendors at stations throughout the city. But the ideal would be to have such concession stands available at every single station, where each one of them also served ALCOHOL, 24/7. Perhaps even a mini-car on your train devoted to serving food & drink? Why hasn't this happened already?! We could drink up in paper bags and it would all be legal and sweet.

Think about how great this would be for partiers en route: Going to a soiree in Greenpoint but losing your buzz as you wait to transfer to the never-arriving G train? Grab an ice-cold 40 of Bud and get back on track! Trying to save some cash by living in bumblefuck Queens but you hang out on the LES every weekend? Don't convince yourself you can't start the pregaming at your crib for fear of passing out on the ride there--just keep the party rolling on the F train and save a few bucks at the bar!

Even more positive, however, would be the effects on everyday commuters during rush hour. How many times I have longed for a stiff one on the way home when stuck between stations because of "red signals ahead"! And could you imagine the business to be made when one of those really fucked-up "we're staying underground for a good hour because of a broken train ahead of us" situations arises?!?! I am getting so excited just thinking about it. The anger & resentment felt toward our fellow commuters--this could all so easily be transformed into an amicable, partylike experience with a few sips of booze to tone down the annoyance of having to contort one's body in ways never before known to be possible. Or to deal with the horrid stench of soot-covered homeless man just to get a seat in the only empty train car.

Imagine a subway where stinky-ethnic-food-carrying person and smug businesswoman mingle effortlessly. Or ironic hipster graphic-designer man from Minnesota and boombox-carrying thug from Bed Stuy become instant best friends. I think this is just what we need to generate a perpetual air of camaraderie, and it could really transform the NYC subway system & culture as we know it.