madness

I apologize, ahead of time, to anyone who is bored by this typical AM-commute horror story, but 100% pure hatred toward the F train was really the only emotion I was capable of feeling this morning.

so, i'm late for work by about 15 minutes, to begin with. no biggie, since I knew today would be a slow day anyway. however, on top of this, the train doesn't come for about 10 minutes. you may believe differently, but personally, I think that's simply an unacceptable amount of time to be waiting for a rush-hour train. four minutes should be the cut-off, then we get refunded for our fare. that's just how i would run things.

anyway, i have my gym bag, purse, and lunch tote bag with me. that's a lot of bags. of course, there were zero seats and there was nearly zero space to stand. whatever, at least the A/C was on full blast, which was a lovely & unexpected surprise. needless to say, however, my ride was still not a pleasant one by any means. everyone kept moving around and repositioning themselves, so with my gym bag on the floor, i had to constantly shuffle it between my feet or pick it up if people wanted to get by. annoying, but i can deal. then there was the large sweaty man behind me who kept grazing his back against mine. disgusting. but again, nothing i haven't survived before.

but the clincher here is that the train stopped at EVERY station, lingering for several minutes. there were also few "trains ahead of us, will be moving shortly" announcements, but i wondered how that could possibly be when I waited ten minutes for the train to even arrive AND it was moving at the pace of a paraplegic snail?!? (i know, that analogy does not really make sense since snails don't have legs, but whatever. it was fucking slow as shit is what i'm trying to say.) how was it that this train had caught up to any train ahead of it? liars.

then it gets stuck between stations about three times. THEN, when I finally think we're in the clear, at 34th st., one station away from 23rd, where I work, the conductor announces that the next stop will be West 4th. (!!!!!!) i almost completely lost it at that point, but I didn't want to come off as the crazy redheaded cursing bag lady, so i merely said "you're fucking kidding me" and exited the train. waiting for the next F/V train to arrive, i was hit by yet another fun surprise: a signal malfunction in midtown had caused all trains to run at slower speeds. there was no next arriving F/V train!!! so after 10 minutes, i decided i'd just walk from 34th to 23rd, which was actually a good idea because the walk calmed my nerves a bit and i was able to leave a message for my boss (who, it turns out, wasn't coming in until an hour later than usual anyway). in total, door to door, it took me 1 hour and 20 minutes to get to work today. this is why i hate the F train.

i love that when i have to be at a cancer walk in times square on a saturday morning at 6:45, however, i can get there in 25 minutes. this does not make sense.