the R train rumble

It's been a relatively slow week in subway news, aside from the nerdy guy with an NYU tote bag who I caught taking pictures of himself with his cell phone this morning. On a rush-hour train! What a lame-ass. He actually held his phone at arm's length at one point, checked to see if anyone was looking (I was, but he didn't notice!) and snapped a photo of himself looking all coy. And then he took two more. Geek alert x 500!

Sooo... I thought I'd take this opportunity to tell a postmortem story about my crazy run-in with some ghetto assholes on the R train last Friday. It never ceases to amaze me the type of trash that Queens breeds. Or that the world breeds in general, really.

After a (very rainy) night on the town with my two lady friends starting immediately after work, I was exhausted by 10:30 pm. I decide to take the local train all the way to Queens because I'm so tired I don't even feel like getting up to switch to the other side of the platform and wait. Somewhere between 34th & 42nd streets, a few hispanic (just giving you the visuals here!! don't write me any letters) thug-like fellows get on the train. they are loud and annoying, probably in their early 20s, if even that. Anyhow, let's get back to the fact that I am extremely sleepy and I am closing my eyes, because that's what people do when they're tired. This did not deter two of these idiots from sitting on either side(!!) of me and proceeding to say things about how "beautiful" i was and if they could "talk to me," and finally, how me closing my eyes was my "defense". what the fuck?! perhaps the black bandana around my head had confused them into thinking I was into thug-life, but seriously, did these guys really think i'd 1) be interested in them, and 2) that it wasn't going to annoy the shit out of me to try to talk to me while i was trying to sleep???

After one stop of this nonsense, I had had it. I got up and said, "I'm exhausted and I don't want to fucking talk to anyone." Waiting for the train to stop, one of the guys was all like, "Oh, you gettin' nervous? That's yo defense o somethin?" To which I quickly and nastily replied, "I don't get nervous." And then they said something like "you smell like asshole" or something like that which, in retrospect, was pretty funny. but at the time my blood was boiling and I just yelled a few expletives in their direction! I got out and went into the next train car to resume my slumber. Two stops later... I hear a jumble of unintelligible ghettospeak. I open my eyes to a very loud "Guess who's bizzack" and a stare in my direction from about 10 feet away. I was about to commit homicide.

Although the train was crowded, I shouted across the people between me and this idiotic monkey and was like, "Really? Did you really come into the next train car just to bother me?" to which the guy says "yo, don't gas yo'self up, yo. i'm just sayin', guess who's bizzack." I say "Then don't look at me when you speak." I then go on to hear them mumble stuff about how "she think she a 10 but she really like a 5, yo." again, what the fuck?! did these elementary-school dropouts really think I cared about their opinion of me? i would care more about what a stink-emitting homeless man doused in booze thought of me. and obviously this situation makes no sense since THEY were the ones trying to talk to ME! anyway, I decided not to feed the feeble minds of these pieces of trash and ignored them for the rest of the ride home. it worked, because they really didn't say anything after that but did proceed to try to fight with an innocent-looking middle-aged mexican man who they felt was staring at them. the poor guy was probably tired, coming home from work (he had work boots on), staring at them because they were making a scene and there was nothing more interesting to look at. they even approached him and tried to start something, but he was so passive about everything that I guess they didn't get the response they were looking for and became disinterested.

My question is: With the world already frightening overpopulated, why must people like this exist? What's the point? Men(?) with no respect for ladies and whose main aspiration is to fight and talk about fighting. Makes me sad for them.