ghetto trash.

Honestly—honestly, now—there is nothing that makes my blood boil more than trashy bitches playing "music" loudly on their cell phones so all the world can hear. No, wait, I take that back. Nothing makes my blood boil more than said behavior on a fucking RUSH-HOUR MORNING TRAIN ON A TUESDAY. Are you kidding me?!?! Let me breathe deeply for a few seconds...brb.

Back. OK, so. The first time I had a run-in with some asshole playing his "music" (quotations because the quality of these ringtones or whatever is so horrific that you can barely make out the sounds and/or song, especially when being played at an obscene decibel level!!) on an AM train, he was sitting there all nonchalantly, phone in hand, playing something that was probably supposed to be hip-hop but sounded more like what a cat being mangled by barbed wire would. It was SO loud, it was comical. From one end of the train car to the other, everyone stared around in disbelief, and it baffled me that no one had the balls to stand up to this stupid kid. He was, what, maybe 18-19 years old, at most? Anyway, I was only on the train for 3 stops, but before I left I made sure to give him a piece of my mind. I told him it was rude and that (duh) not everyone wanted to listen to the music that he was listening to that particular January morning at 9 am. People were trying to read, trying to relax before they go to work, etc. "I'm just tryin to listen to my music, yo." You uneducated fool! Whatevs. Anyway, flash forward to this morning, 8:45 am.

The F train was especially slug-like—and packed to the brim. So I decide to transfer to the local R at Forest Hills so I could sit and read all the fun reading material I'd brought with me this morning (i.e., a Metro paper and the L Magazine). Good luck with that one, Emmy Jo! For as soon as I sit down, these two girls get on, and the more obnoxious of the pair shouts to her pal "this is a perfect place to play music yo!" Oh boy. I felt my internal temperature start to rise and knew something dangerous was bound to happen.

Then the fun begins and they start playing shit on their phones. All this dumb radio R&B crap, and I was like, OK, maybe once more people get on the train they'll stop. This was the first stop on the R and there weren't too many people; the girls were maybe 6-7 feet away from me and I kept shooting them nasty looks. I really cannot sit back and watch things like this happen without saying something, especially after one man boarded the train with a book and sat next to one of them, and as more & more people continued to get on the train, they continued to play their music. Why are people so scared to stand up to trashy kids?!

I wondered if I was the only one being annoyed by this until I looked up from my paper and, lo & behold, many irritated faces were looking in their direction. Really? After the 4th stop, still no one is saying anything? I then noticed the two middle-aged ladies sitting on either side of me with concerned faces. One was a Hispanic lady, the other possibly a Russian Jew. All of a sudden I felt a strong bond to these two strangers and was like "Can you believe these girls? that's so rude!" We all nod in agreement and the potentially Russian lady asks "Where is that coming from? Those girls over there?" and motions in their direction. It was a little hard to see their phones at this point because the train was getting crowded. I said yes, as I continued to stare at them with an evil eye. They saw me staring, at which point I shouted "Are you kidding me?!" (I guess this is my favorite way to initiate a subway spat!). Then the less obnoxious (but still annoying) of the two says to her friend "Is she talking to me?" to which I reply, "Yes I'm talking to you! That's so rude to play music like that on a morning train! Are you fucking kidding?" Apparently she was confused by this and, once again, asked her friend if I was talking to her. I said something about how it's just not nice (just call me grandma Favilla!) then the Russian(?) lady next to me called them "ghetto trash," which I thought was a very astute observation. The Hispanic lady agreed, but she was more quiet than the other woman.

The girls continue to play their music, but never answered me back directly. Maybe the tattoos scared them? Then so many people got on the train that I could no longer see them, but heard the more obnoxious girl (who, might I add, had the nastiest, brassiest bleached hair—yuck) say something like, "it's morning, people gotta wake up and go to work anyway! we're just helping wake them up, right?" and her little minion chuckling along. "see, this guy, he don't mind—he's a morning person, right?!" and something about bob marley. shut the fuck up. If only I could have seen them, I really don't know what I would have said. Instead, I shared a funny exchange with the Russian(?) lady who told me about the time she went into an empty shoe store to try on a pair of shoes but the girl behind the counter was so busy on her cell phone she told her they didn't have her size—without even bothering to look. She laughed, and then, the ghetto bitches started playing Rihanna's "Standing Ovation" and SINGING ALONG. O-M-G. The lady says in her accent, "They think they're so cute! But they are just ghetto trash." Hahha. Thank god for her comic relief. She said "When I get off of the train, I'm gonna say something to them. I'm not scared!" and I told her I wasn't either, and recounted the above story about the guy on the F train and we talked about how everyone is annoyed but no one has the guts to talk shit to these girls. I offered her my Metro newspaper and she took it & read it.

Unfortunately, they got off the train—at Steinway—before either of us, by which point they'd toned it down a bit and I'd put on my headphones because I just felt like it. I said good-bye to my new friend, who exited at Queens Plaza, and that was it.

It's not like I want to have a fist fight with anyone, but someone really needs to school people like this who don't realize how horribly rude and disrespectful it is to play your lame-ass music on a rush-hour train. AGH! I hope karma comes back to bite them in the ass today.