the apple doesn't fall far from the...mouth? ew.

Sorry, i haven't updated in awhile. Haven't really had much excitement during my commute...until last Thursday.

On my way to the gym in Forest Hills, on a Queens-bound F train, I had the unfortunate experience of sitting adjacent to a very sloppy diner. Now, I could be wrong here, but I think it's pretty difficult to turn the act of eating a Granny Smith apple into one big slopfest. A turkey sandwich or a raspberry crumb cake? OK, fine. I won't pass any judgment there. But an APPLE? Come on, guy. Get your shit together.

So I'm sitting there, reading my paper, when I notice bits of apple falling in every direction from this older man's face. Gross, but whatever. Shit happens. Until a piece falls on my brand-new boot. Despite my initial disgust, I thought, "Eh, it's just a piece of apple, whatevs." I tried to shake it off, but it appeared to be stuck to my boot and I didn't have to much room to maneuver my foot. Then this man proceeds to pull out a crumbly corn muffin (which, ironically, he scarfed down without dropping a crumb), some other snack, and a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Although I was impressed with this man's ability to fit an entire five-course meal into his knapsack (good word, right? I could've just said "bag"), I was still perturbed by the fact that I'm pretty sure he noticed the piece of apple that fell on my shoe and didn't even apologize for it. F U.

Then a sick passenger (could this ride get any more fun?) causing the train to stop in the station at 57th prompted me to get up and take the F in the opposite direction and just go to the gym in Ridgewood. This is when I noticed the piece of apple had left a mark on my light-colored (NEW) boots. YUCK! Just a friendly reminder to all you filthy slobs out there: If you know you are a sloppy eater, please use a napkin while in a packed train car. Also, please make an effort to apologize when your saliva-soaked pieces of apple fall on someone else's shoe. Thanks.